Started my SweetPai again

Went to KL again to gain clothes for my SweetPai with Winnie
OMG..rain so heavily and i have to find Winnie at the monarail station
HAHA..GUESS what..i passed the station boz there got no parking at all, so the end she thought of going there herself and i also went the place myself
But, RAIN TOO HEAVY....
OF COZ i went and fetched her..but she wan me go to the HangTuah station but i didnt know the location, so the end....she need to travel back to the Maharajerela station as the first station we supposed to meet up...
Wasted most of the time sitiing in car waiting each other...
But, luckily the end...still managed to get some stocks for My SweetPai

Please support my SweetPai..
Here is the link http://sweetpai.blogspot.com/
Feel free to give comments on the clothes or the websites or services i will be giving
I guess with all the opinions i will improve better in the future :)

Here will be some of the sample of dresses i in LOVE:

Thanks alot to my Client "ANson"

Today didnt really work
Not to say lazy, but kind of tired actually
Yesterday back like quite late and slept at around 2am
BUT, the happy thing was...I CLOSED a case

Prudential really MONEY FACE
LoCKed my commission last 2 months boz i didnt return the AFS scheme's production to them
I thought no need to return, i was quite happy to submit my cases using my normal code,
but suddenly i realized this 2 months Prudential dint pay me a single cents at all
FUCKKKKKK...........
Then, after my manager helped me to find out the problem. They said i need to return back the production first before i can start having back my commission i supposed to have every month.
Now, they said i still owe them 1,906 API.
I closed a case yesterday with onl 1,800 API
still have to owe Prudential, so my manager call me to ask my client to pay extra rm10 per month
So that i will straight away give back Prudential 1,920API
Lucky my client very good people and he really willing to pay the extra RM10 per month with increase the benefit :)

I BELIEVE :

WHEN I TREAT PPL GOOD, PPL WILL ALSO TREAT ME BACK THE SAME

THANKS TO MY BELOVED CLIENT *muacks*

Yesterday met my client, then i found out....HE got 2 baby boys already
WTF right?? He now only 24 years old
HAHA.....but after i listen to some of his story, i found out ppl do change by experience
He did change alot now for the kids and himselves
I really hope he can find someone who he love and gal that love him...HAPPY TOGETHER FOREVER
Actually his story very long, and i lazy to type it out ..hehhee
WISh HIM all the BEST

Edited my own pic when i was bored
Found out this new software from someone's blog :)
I found it interesting and fun by editing own pic while creating some story



This is to show...i was sad....
BUT now...i am HAPPY with my life already

Why i always around CHERAS this 2 days??? I HATE that place but i wish that place can bring me business

Yesterday ;
I remembered i dream of HIM again on that day, but i forgot what was it about anymore- should be good thing happen
After for so long, only i started dream him again that day
(i have improved from everyday dream of him to..long long time one dream :) )
This should be a good result from me

OMG, I Hate cheras maluri, i really dont understand where is where at this stupid cheras maluri
LOST at the night on my way back home
really fucking hate this feeling
I was so tired and i was so scared till my tear keep coming out the whole journey to get my way back home
I lost to a Kampung place and i was so scared till i cant tahan anymore - i called HIM
BUt, he didnt pick up. I thought he at least will call me back ask me what happen as a friend
I believed if he received a miss call from his friend, he will 100% confirm call back to ask what happen. (but, in this care, he will just ignore and avoid it..haiz...what happen??? i just wan to ask u for direction boz u r the only friend i know from cheras. This help will cause u any pain or any loss?? if dont wan listen to my voice, u can just sms me to ask??)
Anyway, i dont wan to further explain about that situation, boz i was so scared and lost that time - DEPRESSING mode on that moment)
The end, i simply turn here n there only i found my way back
Until nowi still dont kn how to get home from that client's place - F-ing hate to go that place

DON'T just stress on my sad story
(always remind myself to think positively)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today ;
Ate McDonald again, but this time with my favourite "McNuggets"
I LOVE nuggets so much *muacks*
But, the client cant make it the appointment
So, i went to another appointment at taman connought
As usual i lost the way when i wan to U-turn to the Giant side, but at least i managed to find Giant boz i turn back to Taman Segar by following signboard, then folow taman connought signboard to find Giant
Day time i dont mind to find my way to a place slowly and patiently without asking help from anyone
I got 2 quality clients inside this Giant and i really going to follow up them closely :)
At least my blog not always about sad things only

Full day outing on Saturday

Suppose to have 4 appointments this day, but only 2 kept
Still very happy boz at least during this 4 appointments i did meet 2 persons to follow up and one client paid me money already :)
After the whole busy working period, then i met Henny for dinner and we went pasar malam at Jinjang ( my first time at Jinjang pasar malam)
I really enjoy going out with friends this 2 weeks, boz i not so depress when i was out and i wont be missing him so much when i was out.
I should be strong boz i realiase there are alot of ppl lost their love ones too at this few months
(wish everyone will be strong, hope to hold hand with them and pass through this tough stage togehter)
I really spent alot of money this week, and i thk my bank going to become RM 0 very very very soon :(
How to ....get more business and get more money???
GOD help me....

After dinner, i went to yam char with my cousins at coffee bean at DesaPark City
Here will be some of my pictures at coffee bean :

As usual, i will have my caramel
( Where is my coffee bean's member card actually?? with u?? or with me?? i cant find )

Take 1
(some people behind me..make the pic look so...not nice :( , so take 2 again)

Take 2
(Nowadays i take pic really so ugly...face problems :( , so ugly man...no more pic of my face anymore)


Chigaco Cheese Cake that Joey's sister ordered
She ate damn fast, she said she wan to share with me but almost all she finished up
Besides that, she started eating it before i wan to take pic.
Can u imagine how fast was she??
I guess she was hungry that time
COFFEE BEAN remind me of my last year birthday's cake that he bought it for me
Really thanks him to give me a memorable birthday last year :")

Missing someone badly

Can someone tell me what happen to me???
When i woke up i miss u.
I hope to see u beside me like we at HK that time
I thought i alr used to not having u beside me???
But, actually i still miss u badly all the time

The first thg i reach home, i will confirm on my comp n check u out..
WHAT HAPPEN TO ME?
The end, i will be having depression myself with all the thg u did
One day i going to get crazy n depression badly
Can anyone help me out to forget the person?
Tear alw come out automatically when i miss him

I really got depress and lost of control after i reading ur post regarding the ranking
I really noone for u right??
Not i dont wan to support u...i really know i was wrong
and i really wish to accompany during ur journey to success
I know last time i dont understand u wwell..
After i lost u, i really understand i cant let go
U ignore me all the times and comments on my friend n cousin's blog
I know u dont miss me n u scared of me... T.T
My heart just...i dont understand myself
Why do i need to cry all the time for ur every single word and whatever u did?
My tear still coming out all the time when..i thk of u..
When will my tear stop coming out???
Why do i still waiting ???
Do u know all ur thing i still keep it nicely with me??/
I will still hug ir when i need it especially when my tear coming out non stop like NOW
I just missing someone alr dont miss me...
I am tired of life :(
I thought i can be strong by not having u anymore...but i really cant be strong when u ignore me all the times
I hate memories, whenever i went i will thk of u..will reming me of our happy moments
I know u dont even remmeber a single thing about us
No matter how u treat me ..i will still support u..really wish u all the best on ur success journey
i really support u sincerely but i know u dont wan my support at all T,T
really hope u do miss me when u free, do remember me will still support behind u when u down, remember i will still listen all ur stories when u r sad..
REALLY MISS U

OMG my skin

Today mood not so good due the work stress
I dont know where to get more people to talk and better target people to approach anymore
I am lost in my business :(
The most sad thing was :
My senior keep asking what happen to my skin? how come suddenly so many pimples ~ this show my face kind of sad on this moment
I was so embrassed when he asked me that
SO, i am going to believe on that ginseng dragon product can help and if do help :)
I am going to introduce to people who wan to be pretty like me
WIsh me all the best :)

Suddenly everyone start writing blog and keep updated quite often already
It is a good sign for me, boz i can waste some times while reading other people's blogs
He also started his blog and of coz i know he ignore mine :(
Remember yesterday i was pissed by him?? But, now i started to miss him again by hoping he update something in his blog and i can read it
Actually i guess yesterday i was not really angry him at all, i just wish to have his care at least like 0.01 % by a call back
OF coz..if compare to last week i really miss him lesser alr ~ is this a good sign for me??
I saw he read my cousin's blog and comment on it
Comment about early 20 will be ppl's attitude forever..something like this..
But, do u know i change so much for u, and i hope u do know...of coz..he wont care anymore
I wish he will care me at least and i definitely hope to get a better person to LOVE me
No matter how, i will still consider u as my best best best best friend forever boz i really did love u and all our old memories will be in my heart forever

I really kind of confuse whether to open to public or not.
open or not open???
If open i scared he read my blog and he know i still love him still miss him..then he will avoid me
If not open i hope he can read my blog and know how i feel for all this while. At least he can know how much i miss him and i really wish him all the best on his life
BUT, i think so much also like for nothg...boz i guess he wont bother to read my this little blog :(

You pissed me off again indirectly

Today i suppose to have 4 appointments -from afternoon till night
but,only one appointment kept and another one not confirm yet till this minute.

I should talk about why do i get piss again by HIM
Just now afternoon was so rush to Cheras Maluri to meet this client and I dont kn where is the place :(
SO, i was like thinking for around 20 min whether to call HIM or not to ask the place.
The end, i planned to call, but nobody picked up.
I was so pissed when i finished the appointment boz i thought he purposely dont wan to pick up my call.
Of coz...the end, i cant tahan i send him a sms to ask him

ME : So busy izit? I need ur urgent help just now also u dont pick up.
He : Anything? Sorry i was still sleeping just now....
ME : Nothing.
ME :I needed ur help so much just now, but...at least u call me back?? I kn I am nothg at all. sorry to disturb then
He: I'm sorry. I one something onl woke and i was in a rush to go out.

With all this can clearly show..HOW CRUEL IS HE alr.
NOW, i really believe sometime when guy dont love u anymore..they really dont give a shit on her and dont care her anymore
WHEN they r chasing u and in love that time, they r like totally different ppl at all.
HE is the good example...
BUT, i still wish he not like this..hope time can prove me wrong
Mayb i am still bluffing myself all this while :(

Anyway,
Today i spent 4 hours in the client's shop and talking about this most of the times....onl like 1 or half hour talk about my Prudential
The only good thing is the client has no insurance so confirm will get it from me :)
so wish me luck to close her for RM 200 per month next week.

TODAY i spent RM 480 for this health care thingy :

Dragon Ginseng

Declared can help me to improve my skin situation in one month
The guy said my skin not serious so very easy to recover :)
I need to drink it for like 3 times per day for this whole month
Besides that, i need to use it to apply as a mask for everynight before i sleep
The details i will future explain when it really work to me..
AND..i will introduce to everyone who wan to be pretty and nice skin like i do :)
Stay with me with this product

I LOVE HOLIDAY.......but.......

Holiday is amazing :)
Can sleep at whatever time and wake up at whatever thing i like
Besides that, can enjoy shopping, watching TV and relaxing the whole day
Really Love holiday so much *muacks muacks*

But,
the only thing i dont like is i will keep thinking of HIM
I know yesterday P u spoke to him, I really very very very very feel like want to know what u all talking about
Although i know P will tell me something that will make me sad..I KNOW
He will say dont talk about me anymore :(
I MISS HIM so much from the day he left
HOW come he is not the same??? he is so cruel to me T.T
DO u know how suffer am i every night before i wan to sleep and also after i woke up
Every seconds when i was awake, i will confirm think of u, miss u
But, y do u dont even care my feeling?
My head is full of u all the time. Will u feel the same too someday?
Few questions keep asking myself all the times :
When i will forget u?
when only the feeling of missing u going to go away from me??
when will u come back to me?
When will u miss me at least once a day?
When will u let me go in ur heart once again?
When will u dont let me go away from u again?
......alot of questions to ask

I thought i wan to forget u, but i think i dont wan to forget u
What is all this actually??
What do i wan actually??
Anyone can ans me??
I dont even understand what i wan and i wish to understand what he wan actually
I HATE MYSELF T.T

Raya Outing with Carolyn :)

Today watched 'the ugly truth' with C
This movie is quite nice and funny, can really make me laugh a lot
Romantic movie which i used to love
Thanks C to accompany today from 11am to 6 pm for shopping and movie

After movie we went for shopping,
and i Love this 2 dresses ( from forever 21).
At the end i cant buy it, not due to the price but due to the size
(NO MORE my size..all big size T.T)

The 2 dresses :


I adjusted the dresses with my hand and both look nice right?? T.T
My Party dresses..I LOVE Dresses

After shopping around, we went for lunch at THE GARDEN @ OneU
The environment there look nice but quite expensive,
both of us spent around RM 65++.
OMG my purse going to be empty soon T.T


(cant really c me clearly boz the C move alr)

C ordered the Garden black pepper chicken chop :

and also the deep fried calamari with spicy rings :
( i didnt even taste it, so dont ask me whether nice or not)

This is what i ordered: Garden fish n chip

This will be our drinks :
1 ice lemon tea and 1 ice honey lemon

This is me ;) while waiting for the food we took pic around and after the food served

My camera suppose to be clear one, but C dont really know how to use my camera.HAHA IS ok :) i wont blame her The pic i helped her to take all were prefect with clear pic :)

Opps...LOOK like the same ya..
My camera problems?
How come food pic were clear?
OH no...do i need a new camera??
NO extra money for that..hahaha

Actually we suppose to go this Japanese Restaurant in ONE World hotel,
But today it closed.
WTF right?? Closed on the public holiday

C said the food there is nice
Going to try it someday :)
NEVER GIVE UP

To show my friends i still alive :

UGLY?
OH no..i hope no..
quite a long time i didnt take my own pictures alr
This was the first time i took my own pic after he left me behind

Still slim right?
I hope i didnt become FAT boz of my broken heart
OR
I become more slim due to my broken heart?

I bought this high heel for working
(boz i hate wearing high heels he gave me *piss me off* )
So long i never buy new high heels already
This was the last pair on the shop, kind of sad
Cost me RM 44++ after 10% discount only

Missing someone

Where r u actually? What r u doing actually?
I really dont know y my mind keep having u in mind. Will u feel the same too?
I really miss u very very very much.
Just now pass through our old pictures when we gathered with our old friends, saw u alr untag on most the pictures we took together. Really hurt when saw this happen between. Actually i know this like one month or 2 months ago, but when i saw it again my heart still hurt like shit :( when onl my heart not going to feel any pain whichever thing that related to u?
Boz of u i look worst when the time pass. what happen to me? i suppose to look better and more happier. what happen to me?

Just read one of ur friend blog. She posted about she n a guy relationship and feeling. Their situaition also complicated. While i reading, i keep thinking if they both love each other how come they wan to separate? I dont really know the whole process, but just wish them all the best. At least both of them still sms each other and will still miss each other like last time when they were together. How about me? I miss u but u didnt miss me anymore?

My heart is pain, very pain
Tear coming out all the time T.T
When onl this feeling will be gone?
I cant get ur news i felt unhappy and uncomfortable.
I wan to know what u doing now, how r u doing without me, anything related to u....i will just want to know
U didnt reply that sms, isn't it means we wont be friends anymore???
Never??? Actually i really cant control myself to ask him again through sms, we really not friends anymore??? This question keep disturing me whole day n night. But, i know i have to listen to Priscilla, i need to give him times. If he never reply me yet, which means he not ready yet to be friend with me. So, i need to give him another 2 weeks time. Although i really dont know can i control myself or not, but at least until this point i did control myself.

Primary school gathering

I look so ugly in all the pictures actually, kind of upset

The drink made the picture felt weird :(


The group picture :
I didnt even talk to everyone on that night. My mood actually wasn't that good on that night also. boz i miss someone on that night. When only i going to be happy move on with my life???


The drinks really kacau. But this picture quite nice on that night, just my face look ugly. Without him i really become damn ugly already :( how should i suppose to live happily without him inGal my life? HOW?


Gals group picture :) I am the most ugly person inside this picture :(
All the pictures just look not right..mayb is my own face problem.

Anyway, really thanks everyone came for this primary gathering.
Really long time didnt see them, i guess alr like 11 years. Wish everyone all the best :)

Time to update my blog :)

I guess he going to start updating his blog very soon
Now we thinking whether to blog or not..
of coz i hope he can blog everyday, then i definitely know his life story although i cant ask him anymore
How come i still miss someone alr dont miss me anymore???

Today saw a pair of husband n wife, they really lovely. I can know through their conversation although they look uneducated and not in good financial situation. The wife has some problem with the heart, so just did operation like last week and cant get any insurance protection anymore until she recover for the coming 5 years time. But how about this 5 years? They alr spent like 60,000 for the operation just did. How about the coming operation that may occur anytime? Although they have financial situation right now, but i was so touch after i heard her husband said this line ' If ur company can cover my wife, no matter how much i will still pay and will never miss any premium'. This is called LOVE. In my heart, i really wish i found this 'LOVE' now. My mind keep thinking and hoping the Love i found is HIM, but i guess not possible for now. WIsh for the best in the future :)
I wish i will able to protect their family by giving them financial advice, wish them all the best with their lovely baby boy together.

This few days i worked like shit, from afternoon to night just to fight for my target, but yesterday i didnt meet my target :( Today i dont know whether i consider meeting my target or not actually, boz i did meet enough people but some just fact finding without getting their contacts and names, since i am like tired of waiting them anymore and tired of chatting stuff with them without getting any sales from them. HAHA..Am i bad??? My legs were so tired when i chat while standing all the day. Please forgive me :)

My skin really getting worst and worst, due to not enough sleep?? not enough rest???not enough water?? not enough love?? or what??? I have to really take care well my skin boz i cant let HIM look down on me, i will prove to him : You will not better than me, you dont hav me beside u ....is ur lost.

I am so happy to have party this friday night and sat night :) Friday night with all the old primary school friends..Actually kind of weird feeling, boz i actually forget their name and face already. Saturday will be Desmond's house warming. Hope i enjoy taking pictures there and enjoy the time there. I must be more happy than HIM. Hopefully after the house warming can go to ZOUK for clubbing. Hope my friends will be hav the mood to go on saturday night :) With this full plans over this 2 days, i am going to play till the FULL...HAHA

Besides that, the coming monday will the outing day with my baby(carolyn) and carmen. Last time we used to go out with HIM also, but now he gone already. I MISS HIM. Mother asking me just now ' what happen to both of u?? No more together? did u rugi to him anything??' WHat i suppose to answer actuallY? i want to say....HE DID OWE ME...but...i cant say anything of coz. JUST keep my mouth shut, by saying 'NOTHING'. I miss his love towards me

The end, i hope he will update his blog then i will able to know more about him and understand him more and more on the coming time. I also hope i can hit my target everyday and GET my free TAIWAN TRIP to prove to him...I CAN DO IT

I am such a stupid fail person :(

I am just stupid became his gf..
I am really sorry to him...
After i read some of the past msn chat log..
I was totally HATE myself
I know i make him gone..
I miss him so much so much..
i found out that actually on that time we just broke up..he did miss me and asked me how was me...
This was the hint letting me know...but i spoil it..
I damn regret with what i had done
I miss him so much..i really cant live without u
When u going to miss me again???
i miss u very much really
i just cant live and move on without u..
after i read all the articles about ' how to get ur ex bf back', i know i should learn not to push him away, not to make him scared of me, not to hate me or dont like to see me anymore
i hope i didnt do anythg make him away from me
I just wan him back to my world
LAst time he alw wan me to go his house, now???
I wan to go but he dont wan anymore...why??? dont leave me alone dear
I everyday pretend to be happy pretend to dont love u anymore
i very suffer u kn, dear
will u ever just give me a chance to change???
i miss u...will u miss me too..
If i gone alr, will u still remember?
i know i cant cry infront of him cant sad infront of him cant be weak
I MUST be strong infront of him must be confident must be successful infront of him
let him know he left me was a wrong decision, so he will be back to me
he wil beg to wan me back asap
Anyway i really happy to see he reply my msn as usual, but i really hope he bought the coupon so that mayb i cant meet him someday..i miss him
GOD...u let me fall in love him, plss let me hav him back soon
THANKS GOD
i know GOD will protect me and give me whatever i wish to have right NOW
i wish u all the best and be right back to me asap
i will wait for u, dear

Trying to out with others but think of U

Yesterday i went out for movie with a guy to pass my time, but the end i ended up thinking of u the whole day
Went to A&W for lunch - this remind me of us been there like most of our time when we were shopping at OneU
Went to Shopping - most of the shop i went with u all the time, so the end i didnt wan to shop boz mood just bad on that time :(
Went to cinema - reminded me how we started to be close. U drank my drink on the first time we went for movie and that time i really dont kn y u will drink mine. Of coz the end, i did ask u and u told me the reason :) how wish it will happen again between u n me
When i talked with him, i think of what we did talk before when we shop around oneU and most of the time on yesterday my mind was blank. The end, i dont really remember what the guy had said to me :(

Just want to know how r u recently??
I know i cant talk to u this 2 months :(
This 2 months really hard to past ....
Will u ever hav a second to miss me a day??? I MISS u everyday when i worked up
Today i dreamt about u like 2 times because today is holiday so can sleep longer
After the day u were gone, my alr like dreamt about u more than 10 times or 15 times i guess
When will be the day i will forget u and u remember me in ur heart deeply???

why everything is not fine???

WHAT happen to me???
HOw come still miss him..
He is the one who hurt me deep
He is the one who don't care me
But, i still care him so much...i know he rushing assignment n also lose in his business plan
I sad for him..want to tell him dont give up..wan to tell him i still beside him support him
But, all this will only in my heart
DONT GIVE UP DEAR.. I WILL ALW BE UR SIDE :)

WHAT happen to all the uncle???
Dont care about their protection one?
I want to help , but u all dont let...
WHAT can i do???
If anythg happen...i dont care

Wish all the good things will be coming to me NOW and FOREVER

Wish everyone happy celebrating MEDERKA tonight

i guess everyone should be busying preparing out to celebrating mederka now :)
At first i also thought i actually wan to celebrate so much boz every year i did celebrate with friends and of coz last time with HIM
I thought i wan to tell him how much i really love him and letting him know no matter how..i am letting u go now
This is true in my heart, I hope u get well with ur life journey and also be happy to be single or in a relationship in the future :)
Actually just now the whole night i looking through FB's pictures of his friends and i realise something. ......
I am glad i did in his heart for at least one year plus :) Thanks at least we did together before. Actually i really wan to type u a last email thanking u this past 1 years we had been together, but the end i didnt do so. Boz i think u dont even will appreaciate what i wan to thanks u right?? Is ok :)
WIsh u win ur business competition and also doing well with ur assignments, i will still believe u that u can do it well - if win already, must at least thanks me ok? boz i did support u deep in my heart..HAHA

Supposed to celebrate Merdeka with my client, but he went to zouk yesterday without inviting me ;(
He said boz i was not feeling well, so better dont ask me along
At least he concern me la..but the end i need to stay home celebrating mederka alr :(
Although he willing to accompany today out for dinner or whatver celebration, but i dont feel like going with him alone like this ( even though indirectly can make me happy, boz letting ben know..u r lost, when u dont hav me..HAHA...., but i just dont wan to out alone so fast...mayb in the future :) )

Wish me all the best :)
Thinking of how to get my 2 cases in before tomorrow night....
THINKING HARD THINKING HARD....HARD....
GOD please give me the 2 cases NOW :)

Happy VS Sad day

I thought today should b my happy day??
I heard 2 person said want to buy insurance from me.
One is malay lady that i called and she said she interested with my plan
Another one just met and he said can he open the 2 plans together
All this r the sign of buying insurance from me alr right???
Should be very happy right??

BUT, why boz of his stupid clubbing pictures can make me upset like shit
Why is he influencing me like this everyday??
From a very happy mood sudd change to upset mood just because of his stupid pictures
I have to start not to see his facebook anymore, but it is so hard for me actually

Why is he still wearing the 'thing' i gave him to all the clubbing or party??
Why do he still wearing it?
I thought he should be throwing it aside alr??
My kai ko said he wore it didnt not mean anything, boz he alr dont care.
But, i really care- i dont hope to see him wearing it to all the stupid places with all the stupid ppl
He not onl hav the calculator can keep fr memories right??
I think he lost my calculator :(
He still got so manything can keep for our memories

PS: I really wish someone can answer me what i wan to know from his mind

Early birthday celebration 2009

The first only happy moment in this month:

Celebrated with friends at one of the restaurant at The Curve (i forgot the name of the restaurant)

Food we ordered:




The free drinks we got :


This first free drink we got it at the beginning of the party and the boss said "this is the free drink for today special - 4 walk in ladies". But, Angeline said she never get this kind of thing before in this restaurant
haha...we guess we r just too pretty..HAHA

The second free drink we got for FREE. This is damn nice to drink. Of coz we also dont know y the boss gave this for FREE again. We asked him, and he said ' this is free for birthday gal', but actually there was another table who birthday also - very sadly, they didnt get it. HAHA....

The most happy thing - the total charge : only RM 103++.
Damn cheap for 5 person party :)


The happy moments with friends :

Four of us enjoy drinking the giant drink :)






Group picture : mervynn, angeline, carmen, me and carolyn ( From left to right)

This was the really happy moment for me.

Besides that, i really happy to hear that he said ' he wanted to keep my calculator for our memories' , so he want me to buy a new one and he will bank in the money to me.
With only this sentence, i really happy and don't angry him anymore. Just hope everythg will be ok in the future.
My cousin reminded me, his old relationship never more than 3 months. So,his longest relationship was with me ' one year and one month'. This really letting me realize he actually also did put alot of effort on this relationship and i really happy i was the longest in his relationship. Anyway, just wish the best in the future :)
I hope i still can be his best friend and we will still keep in touch.
I will always support him in his life :)

All the best

Another day without HIM

We used to love each other so much, but the end we end up like this
My problems or his problems?? Just now suddenly found our old email that we argued because of small things
Anyway, I am trying hard to be better than him, be happier than him, be more successful than him ;)
I wan him to regret he lost me, and beg me back - come back to me.
Wish me all the best :)

Oh tomorrow will be going Pavillion Redbox to celebrate our PHA graduation
I going to take lots of photo, hehe
Boz i wan to post all my happy events here also, not only all the unhappy events.
Will be funny back to be a blogger :)

Late night alr, today whole day stayed at home doing nothing but only depressing myself
So, tomorrow going to work very very very hard to repay whatever i should do today

BE happy

what have i plan for my birthday???

This year 2009 birthday will be the most lonely birthday i ever had before
Not i dont hav friends with me, not i dont hav relatives with me,
but i wan to be celebrated alone with him
I know it is actually impossible alr, but i will celebrate it by all the memories i had with him

Being alone with the place with together first time ( that place : onl me n him will know about that place. We started there, we hang out there last time when we didnt let anyone know about our relationship. At that place, really happen alot of things. I dont know he will remember or not, but it really big impact on me - I really wish he will go there n find me, but that is like impossible)

Being alone at the place we always hang out when at night after we pakto ( that place we used to hang out when we started pakto not long ago. That place has good environment, has good place to rest. will he stil remember with that??? I know of coz he wont. We usually walk walk there)

Being alone at the place we used to hang out nearby his house (every friday night when i at his house - my birthday also on friday night. Actually he said b4 will still accompany me to go that place if he free...but of coz i know he just saying, wont do it. Mayb on that day will be the last time i going there by myself. Don't know that friday where will him be. Of coz i know he confirm go to far far place, so that wont give me chance to disturb him at all- how hurt to know the reality)

* There will be alot of place we used to hang out together, but some i dontkn how to go also. So, i will just stay at a place to wait till he find me?? of coz i know he wont come also...but i still wan to wait till he appear infront of me. So sorry, i know i disappointed alot of ppl by helping me so hard to forget him. Really sorry.

Of coz on that day, i will stay on a place we used to be together and quietly thinking about our past. y can become this stage now??? Sorry dear...i hope u can forgive me..How can u so fast dont like me dont bother me dont care me anymore???

End of the life between us??? Nobody can contact me during that day..i will disappear from everyone

moody day

Sunday night should be a relax and happy time, but why it doesnt apply to me???
Whenever ppl mention sth, all will link it to HIM
Even a word - Genting
Genting - We went there alot of time with his friends for entertainment and gamble
I also bang by a car b4 at genting, n he really concerned me..although my hand damn pain, but of coz i said nothg boz i really dont wan he worry me
I reallly miss all the time i with him...where r u?? where r the old u??? NO MORE???

Even a word - Cheras
He stays there, n most of the place at cheras he brought me before and he is the one who teach me all the places at Cheras.

Everythg also related me to HIM
HOw come?? he onl with me like one year plus...y is it so manythg in my world related to HIM?
After i think deeply, i started to realise ---he is the onl one i really put all my true heart
Am i stupid or .... until i can end up this stage???
Will he coming back to me one day??? this is the question alw in my mind all the time

Really hope he will come to read my blog and understand my real feeling this period,
but i never let him know i hav this blog...

Anyway, wish he happy and back one day
I know he really happy this period and also just back from a happy camp, did he ever think of my feeling before??? Just like one minute ?? I know the ans is 'NO"

Just wish all the best for my future and also his future
I wish to be happy and go lucky

how come he still in my heart??

Yesterday i went to watch movie with kai ko n his friends,
but my heart ' all about him', when Yam Char ' my heart also allabout him'
even i sleeping , my dream ' all about him'
Wha is this means? I still cant let go???

While watching the tv drama, i was thking i am the same situation as the guy
He loves the lady so much until he can die for her
ME? do u beieve i really thk b4? until now...actually i am still thking
I am giving myself sometme to forget HIM, if until one day i still cant...i really.....
Need how long to recover?? i still dont kn.. i wish someone can tell me a excat time i can forget him

Now my hair length is his favourite hair length.
I MISS HIM.will he MISS ME while he free???
can just MISS ME for a second for every minute or every hour or just once everyday?
Will u still remember all the time we been together??
My birthday coming alr, will u wish me ' happy birthday'?
Remember last year u celebrated with me??
Bought me the LOVE cake i wanted, bought be a GUESS purse i wanted
Give me the sweet moment i wanted.....HOW about this year???
MY wish is just want U to come back to me ...will this come true for my birthday wish???

MISS U

What is LOVE means?

When we ask for LOVE, God will test us by giving us all the people who don't love us
So that, we can show how much LOVE we can sacrifice for those people and show the LOVE

Is this the real statement?
I believe it is real in my heart, because while i looking for LOVE
The God really sending HIM to tougher me, in order to let me know what is LOVE
Thanks God.
I really know i need to understand the LOVE in my heart.

LOVE i should be happy when he happy
LOVE although he alr not around me, not together with me, i will still concern everythg about him
LOVE i should support behind him throughout his whole success journey
LOVE i should be patient to wait for him to clearly understand i LOVE him more than anyone else
LOVE i should follow what he wan ( now he no need me boz he dont see the important of me, so i will be waiting him until he realise me in his heart)
LOVE no matter how cruel he treated me, i should forgive him all the time
LOVE just hope he will miss me while he free
LOVE just wish he will think of me when he sad or not happy, boz i will beside him n support him

Is this all about LOVE?
If LOVE giving me so hurt feeling, should i still continue it??
Can anyone teach me how to forget HIM and forget the LOVE on him?

he alr dont need me anymore

In this world, nobody will need the other party forever i guess,
Just like he alr no need me now, but i still love him so much.
How come this world can be so unfair?? when i give everythg to recover back to normal, but till the end he still leave me behind.
how come he be so cruel to me? he last time also used to love me deep right?
human really can forget a person so fast n dont even hav the 0.0001% feeling left?
No matter how cruel, how many bad thg he did to me, i still...miss him...still love him...still wish to meet him..still wish to kiss him...still wish to scarify anythg for him...
Is this a stupid thg called LOVE ?

How can he be so diff from my side??
He enjoy going out to all the parties with his friends,
he enjoy going to pub with his friends,
he enjoy knowing new gals and friends in his life,
he enjoy doing his business without my support,
he enjoy treating me cruel, dont care how i feel,
he enjoy drinking with his friends,
he enjoy studying with his friends,
how come he enjoy so much???
HOW ABOUT ME???

I crying everyday for him,
I miss him n wan to know what he doing everyday,
No matter wht place i went, will remind me of him,
I miss the time we were together,
I miss the care he gave me,
I tried to work hard to hav him back to my life,
I love him too much till i think to leave the world, so that he can remember me in his life
I wish to be with him all the time till i can scarified all the thg for him
I love U...will u still love me back like last time one day?

In this world there is nothig call impossible,
So, i will always keep in mind ' dear will be back one day, no matter how long, i will wait till he come back'
Alw keep in mind, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE THIS WORLD
LOVE is alw around me n him,
so, YONG KOK FAI must come back to me one day and love me as much as possible like i do
I really pray for him to be back to me

With love,
I really hope u will be back to me

Cold Down period

Yesterday night i slept quite well because I have talked to my kai ko about our situation.
My kai ko suggested me to give him time - at least a week to reconsider our relationship, so i did listen to my kai ko not to disturb him during this week.
Hopefully after few days, he will come back to my side. But, I already become don't so need him anymore after reconsidering all the things he did to me.So, I will see how. If any sad thing or anything happen again I will go discuss with my kai ko again :) Thanks to my kai ko made me felt better yesterday and I could sleep well that night after discussing everything with him.

I hope I can don't sms him anymore for this week, until he find me and give me answer whether we should continue or should end. But then, if he wants to continue and that time I already don't want to continue anymore??? Then, what should I do??
During this period, I will try my best to forget him by celebrating CNY with my family and finding my permanent job. If i got any problems such as about the place of the company, I won't find him anymore - try my best to solve it by myself because I ca find my friends and also my kai ko.

Wish me luck for this cold down period, I hope I will turn to a new leaf as soon as possible.
Gambateh Gambateh .....

Life become so meaningless for me

I have graduated from my degree course. Should I super happy for that??At first i really happy that i have graduated from my College and I would not need to rush for any assignments anymore or stay up late night for my exam anymore. However, now i am unemployed, so my life become so meaningless. I went for 2 interviews, but at the end i dint get the job. I think i failed on my interviewed sessions because my results just average and my english not really well. How come people who called my for interview didnt check my result before calling me for interview??? I thought you all suppose to do that first before calling me??? If you dont like my result, then dont call me for interview, should just put me in unsuccessful list in Jobstreet.com.The second interview was at Maybank, at first i don't plan to work there because they offer me some finance relationship executive position. But, till the end i confirmed the interview and attended because i just don't wan to miss any interview i can get. Of course i didn't get the job. How sad my life can be??? Now, i got an offer from Prudential Insurance company, but the position offer is Customer Service Executive. I HATE that kind of job, like customer service. Of course i not yet reply them yet, I will need to consider first before i make any decision. This because I don't want to go interview but the end I going to reject the job. They want me reply them before 28 of Jan 2009. So, i am still considering for this.

How many conflicts happen in my life???
LOVE problems :
He wanted to break up with me because he said he could not stand my temper anymore.
He said this was his second time he had firm decision that he wanted to break up with me :(
How could i say??? I really tried my best to control my temper and fulfill what he want me to be, but the end he didn't see anything.
This happen yesterday night, when he suddenly told me he going to 'this friend's house' to fried something. At first, I was ok and nothing about this issue, because in my heart i just want to merajuk abit. So, I asked him how come suddenly went to 'the friend's house' and help??? ' The friend's house' - actually is a gal he used to love last time. What can i say??? He can use all his times to help other people but not his own gf. The day before, after his working hours, he went to have dinner with his friends and yam char with his friends, came back at around 12 something. So, I was nothing because i know he want rest and we just said goodnight to each other, then just sleep. But, yesterday he suddenly going to the gal's house and help out. Of course back at around 12 something. He knew i not happy with it, so he came back and bath, then called me to talk to me. That time I was not happy, so I just keep silent when he talked to me, but of course i did response to him as well. This was my way to merajuk and show my unhappiness to someone i care. I thought he will at least 'tam' me because he knew I not happy he didnt accompany for this few days because I know today after working he going to meet up his old school's friends as well. So, in my heart I thought at least yesterday he will accompany me to chat on phone. Yesterday night, he called at 12 something if i was not wrong, then talk talk talk abit what he did for that day and asking me what i did for that day too. As usual, I will merajuk abit and said 'don't want tell you', but in my heart i will tell you later when my mood back. Actually before he called me, I was in a happy mood- I transfered the pictures we took at Hong Kong to my Hp because I wanted to put 'our' pictures as display pictures in my phone, so that I can see him everytime I MISS HIM. I didn't know end up, both of us also in a bad mood when we talking through phone. Everytime when i was talking to him, he will just suddenly reply me ' call back you later'. As usual, I just asked him' why???', but he didn't answer. I ended the call then. Then, he called back, I asked him what happend, then he explained that his mum want him settle something. Then, we continue our 'emo' conversation.

During the emo conversation, he keep asking me ,why i not happy ,why i angry him ,what's wrong if he go help his friend and why i complain him didn't accompany me. On that point, I didn't know why i was so emo and not happy. So, I just said ' because you didn't accompany and all your time you gave your friends, then how about me???' Then, he speechless.
Before that, he told me while on his working time, he called some of his friends (3G them) - in my heart, how come you didn't even call me at all when you were free??? Don't like to chat with me??? Or, in your heart i just so worthless???........end up, both also fighting and arguing.
He shouted at me ' Why can't you just let me sleep and rest after my long hours of working??/ Tomorrow still going to work..You can't expect me have the lifestyle same as you - slept at midnight. He hang up the call after shouting on me. ---.---
On that point, I was speechless..becuase I didn't mean to disturb him and don't let him rest. I was just too angry and want to settle and discuss with him about our problems, because I cannot sleep without a conclusion. So, I end up in a very angry and bad mood. I can't sleep for the whole night. I cried for the whole night and thinking how come he can hang up my call again after he had promised me he wont do that again to me.

At the end, he said ' he cant face me anymore..because he not the one i want and i not the one he want too...' Actually there were more details on it, but I really no energy to explain it anymore here.
So, at the end, 2009 CNY i will end up broke up with him, and on a very sad and moody new year.

Long time didn't blog , but when i started to blog means my life become not happy anymore.
I long time didn't blog :
because i used all my times on study - during my college period
because i used all my times for someone i loved - I thought he loves me too, but actually he don't love me anymore.
becuase i used all my times to watch TV and accompany him- sms him.
because i spent my times to together with him when he was free to accompany me.
Of couse there were more reasons i had. But i really lazy to explain anymore :(
because i really very down and felt like crying already after finishing posting this post