Why i always around CHERAS this 2 days??? I HATE that place but i wish that place can bring me business

Yesterday ;
I remembered i dream of HIM again on that day, but i forgot what was it about anymore- should be good thing happen
After for so long, only i started dream him again that day
(i have improved from everyday dream of him to..long long time one dream :) )
This should be a good result from me

OMG, I Hate cheras maluri, i really dont understand where is where at this stupid cheras maluri
LOST at the night on my way back home
really fucking hate this feeling
I was so tired and i was so scared till my tear keep coming out the whole journey to get my way back home
I lost to a Kampung place and i was so scared till i cant tahan anymore - i called HIM
BUt, he didnt pick up. I thought he at least will call me back ask me what happen as a friend
I believed if he received a miss call from his friend, he will 100% confirm call back to ask what happen. (but, in this care, he will just ignore and avoid it..haiz...what happen??? i just wan to ask u for direction boz u r the only friend i know from cheras. This help will cause u any pain or any loss?? if dont wan listen to my voice, u can just sms me to ask??)
Anyway, i dont wan to further explain about that situation, boz i was so scared and lost that time - DEPRESSING mode on that moment)
The end, i simply turn here n there only i found my way back
Until nowi still dont kn how to get home from that client's place - F-ing hate to go that place

DON'T just stress on my sad story
(always remind myself to think positively)

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Today ;
Ate McDonald again, but this time with my favourite "McNuggets"
I LOVE nuggets so much *muacks*
But, the client cant make it the appointment
So, i went to another appointment at taman connought
As usual i lost the way when i wan to U-turn to the Giant side, but at least i managed to find Giant boz i turn back to Taman Segar by following signboard, then folow taman connought signboard to find Giant
Day time i dont mind to find my way to a place slowly and patiently without asking help from anyone
I got 2 quality clients inside this Giant and i really going to follow up them closely :)
At least my blog not always about sad things only

Full day outing on Saturday

Suppose to have 4 appointments this day, but only 2 kept
Still very happy boz at least during this 4 appointments i did meet 2 persons to follow up and one client paid me money already :)
After the whole busy working period, then i met Henny for dinner and we went pasar malam at Jinjang ( my first time at Jinjang pasar malam)
I really enjoy going out with friends this 2 weeks, boz i not so depress when i was out and i wont be missing him so much when i was out.
I should be strong boz i realiase there are alot of ppl lost their love ones too at this few months
(wish everyone will be strong, hope to hold hand with them and pass through this tough stage togehter)
I really spent alot of money this week, and i thk my bank going to become RM 0 very very very soon :(
How to ....get more business and get more money???
GOD help me....

After dinner, i went to yam char with my cousins at coffee bean at DesaPark City
Here will be some of my pictures at coffee bean :

As usual, i will have my caramel
( Where is my coffee bean's member card actually?? with u?? or with me?? i cant find )

Take 1
(some people behind me..make the pic look so...not nice :( , so take 2 again)

Take 2
(Nowadays i take pic really so ugly...face problems :( , so ugly man...no more pic of my face anymore)


Chigaco Cheese Cake that Joey's sister ordered
She ate damn fast, she said she wan to share with me but almost all she finished up
Besides that, she started eating it before i wan to take pic.
Can u imagine how fast was she??
I guess she was hungry that time
COFFEE BEAN remind me of my last year birthday's cake that he bought it for me
Really thanks him to give me a memorable birthday last year :")

Missing someone badly

Can someone tell me what happen to me???
When i woke up i miss u.
I hope to see u beside me like we at HK that time
I thought i alr used to not having u beside me???
But, actually i still miss u badly all the time

The first thg i reach home, i will confirm on my comp n check u out..
WHAT HAPPEN TO ME?
The end, i will be having depression myself with all the thg u did
One day i going to get crazy n depression badly
Can anyone help me out to forget the person?
Tear alw come out automatically when i miss him

I really got depress and lost of control after i reading ur post regarding the ranking
I really noone for u right??
Not i dont wan to support u...i really know i was wrong
and i really wish to accompany during ur journey to success
I know last time i dont understand u wwell..
After i lost u, i really understand i cant let go
U ignore me all the times and comments on my friend n cousin's blog
I know u dont miss me n u scared of me... T.T
My heart just...i dont understand myself
Why do i need to cry all the time for ur every single word and whatever u did?
My tear still coming out all the time when..i thk of u..
When will my tear stop coming out???
Why do i still waiting ???
Do u know all ur thing i still keep it nicely with me??/
I will still hug ir when i need it especially when my tear coming out non stop like NOW
I just missing someone alr dont miss me...
I am tired of life :(
I thought i can be strong by not having u anymore...but i really cant be strong when u ignore me all the times
I hate memories, whenever i went i will thk of u..will reming me of our happy moments
I know u dont even remmeber a single thing about us
No matter how u treat me ..i will still support u..really wish u all the best on ur success journey
i really support u sincerely but i know u dont wan my support at all T,T
really hope u do miss me when u free, do remember me will still support behind u when u down, remember i will still listen all ur stories when u r sad..
REALLY MISS U

OMG my skin

Today mood not so good due the work stress
I dont know where to get more people to talk and better target people to approach anymore
I am lost in my business :(
The most sad thing was :
My senior keep asking what happen to my skin? how come suddenly so many pimples ~ this show my face kind of sad on this moment
I was so embrassed when he asked me that
SO, i am going to believe on that ginseng dragon product can help and if do help :)
I am going to introduce to people who wan to be pretty like me
WIsh me all the best :)

Suddenly everyone start writing blog and keep updated quite often already
It is a good sign for me, boz i can waste some times while reading other people's blogs
He also started his blog and of coz i know he ignore mine :(
Remember yesterday i was pissed by him?? But, now i started to miss him again by hoping he update something in his blog and i can read it
Actually i guess yesterday i was not really angry him at all, i just wish to have his care at least like 0.01 % by a call back
OF coz..if compare to last week i really miss him lesser alr ~ is this a good sign for me??
I saw he read my cousin's blog and comment on it
Comment about early 20 will be ppl's attitude forever..something like this..
But, do u know i change so much for u, and i hope u do know...of coz..he wont care anymore
I wish he will care me at least and i definitely hope to get a better person to LOVE me
No matter how, i will still consider u as my best best best best friend forever boz i really did love u and all our old memories will be in my heart forever

I really kind of confuse whether to open to public or not.
open or not open???
If open i scared he read my blog and he know i still love him still miss him..then he will avoid me
If not open i hope he can read my blog and know how i feel for all this while. At least he can know how much i miss him and i really wish him all the best on his life
BUT, i think so much also like for nothg...boz i guess he wont bother to read my this little blog :(

You pissed me off again indirectly

Today i suppose to have 4 appointments -from afternoon till night
but,only one appointment kept and another one not confirm yet till this minute.

I should talk about why do i get piss again by HIM
Just now afternoon was so rush to Cheras Maluri to meet this client and I dont kn where is the place :(
SO, i was like thinking for around 20 min whether to call HIM or not to ask the place.
The end, i planned to call, but nobody picked up.
I was so pissed when i finished the appointment boz i thought he purposely dont wan to pick up my call.
Of coz...the end, i cant tahan i send him a sms to ask him

ME : So busy izit? I need ur urgent help just now also u dont pick up.
He : Anything? Sorry i was still sleeping just now....
ME : Nothing.
ME :I needed ur help so much just now, but...at least u call me back?? I kn I am nothg at all. sorry to disturb then
He: I'm sorry. I one something onl woke and i was in a rush to go out.

With all this can clearly show..HOW CRUEL IS HE alr.
NOW, i really believe sometime when guy dont love u anymore..they really dont give a shit on her and dont care her anymore
WHEN they r chasing u and in love that time, they r like totally different ppl at all.
HE is the good example...
BUT, i still wish he not like this..hope time can prove me wrong
Mayb i am still bluffing myself all this while :(

Anyway,
Today i spent 4 hours in the client's shop and talking about this most of the times....onl like 1 or half hour talk about my Prudential
The only good thing is the client has no insurance so confirm will get it from me :)
so wish me luck to close her for RM 200 per month next week.

TODAY i spent RM 480 for this health care thingy :

Dragon Ginseng

Declared can help me to improve my skin situation in one month
The guy said my skin not serious so very easy to recover :)
I need to drink it for like 3 times per day for this whole month
Besides that, i need to use it to apply as a mask for everynight before i sleep
The details i will future explain when it really work to me..
AND..i will introduce to everyone who wan to be pretty and nice skin like i do :)
Stay with me with this product

I LOVE HOLIDAY.......but.......

Holiday is amazing :)
Can sleep at whatever time and wake up at whatever thing i like
Besides that, can enjoy shopping, watching TV and relaxing the whole day
Really Love holiday so much *muacks muacks*

But,
the only thing i dont like is i will keep thinking of HIM
I know yesterday P u spoke to him, I really very very very very feel like want to know what u all talking about
Although i know P will tell me something that will make me sad..I KNOW
He will say dont talk about me anymore :(
I MISS HIM so much from the day he left
HOW come he is not the same??? he is so cruel to me T.T
DO u know how suffer am i every night before i wan to sleep and also after i woke up
Every seconds when i was awake, i will confirm think of u, miss u
But, y do u dont even care my feeling?
My head is full of u all the time. Will u feel the same too someday?
Few questions keep asking myself all the times :
When i will forget u?
when only the feeling of missing u going to go away from me??
when will u come back to me?
When will u miss me at least once a day?
When will u let me go in ur heart once again?
When will u dont let me go away from u again?
......alot of questions to ask

I thought i wan to forget u, but i think i dont wan to forget u
What is all this actually??
What do i wan actually??
Anyone can ans me??
I dont even understand what i wan and i wish to understand what he wan actually
I HATE MYSELF T.T

Raya Outing with Carolyn :)

Today watched 'the ugly truth' with C
This movie is quite nice and funny, can really make me laugh a lot
Romantic movie which i used to love
Thanks C to accompany today from 11am to 6 pm for shopping and movie

After movie we went for shopping,
and i Love this 2 dresses ( from forever 21).
At the end i cant buy it, not due to the price but due to the size
(NO MORE my size..all big size T.T)

The 2 dresses :


I adjusted the dresses with my hand and both look nice right?? T.T
My Party dresses..I LOVE Dresses

After shopping around, we went for lunch at THE GARDEN @ OneU
The environment there look nice but quite expensive,
both of us spent around RM 65++.
OMG my purse going to be empty soon T.T


(cant really c me clearly boz the C move alr)

C ordered the Garden black pepper chicken chop :

and also the deep fried calamari with spicy rings :
( i didnt even taste it, so dont ask me whether nice or not)

This is what i ordered: Garden fish n chip

This will be our drinks :
1 ice lemon tea and 1 ice honey lemon

This is me ;) while waiting for the food we took pic around and after the food served

My camera suppose to be clear one, but C dont really know how to use my camera.HAHA IS ok :) i wont blame her The pic i helped her to take all were prefect with clear pic :)

Opps...LOOK like the same ya..
My camera problems?
How come food pic were clear?
OH no...do i need a new camera??
NO extra money for that..hahaha

Actually we suppose to go this Japanese Restaurant in ONE World hotel,
But today it closed.
WTF right?? Closed on the public holiday

C said the food there is nice
Going to try it someday :)
NEVER GIVE UP

To show my friends i still alive :

UGLY?
OH no..i hope no..
quite a long time i didnt take my own pictures alr
This was the first time i took my own pic after he left me behind

Still slim right?
I hope i didnt become FAT boz of my broken heart
OR
I become more slim due to my broken heart?

I bought this high heel for working
(boz i hate wearing high heels he gave me *piss me off* )
So long i never buy new high heels already
This was the last pair on the shop, kind of sad
Cost me RM 44++ after 10% discount only

Missing someone

Where r u actually? What r u doing actually?
I really dont know y my mind keep having u in mind. Will u feel the same too?
I really miss u very very very much.
Just now pass through our old pictures when we gathered with our old friends, saw u alr untag on most the pictures we took together. Really hurt when saw this happen between. Actually i know this like one month or 2 months ago, but when i saw it again my heart still hurt like shit :( when onl my heart not going to feel any pain whichever thing that related to u?
Boz of u i look worst when the time pass. what happen to me? i suppose to look better and more happier. what happen to me?

Just read one of ur friend blog. She posted about she n a guy relationship and feeling. Their situaition also complicated. While i reading, i keep thinking if they both love each other how come they wan to separate? I dont really know the whole process, but just wish them all the best. At least both of them still sms each other and will still miss each other like last time when they were together. How about me? I miss u but u didnt miss me anymore?

My heart is pain, very pain
Tear coming out all the time T.T
When onl this feeling will be gone?
I cant get ur news i felt unhappy and uncomfortable.
I wan to know what u doing now, how r u doing without me, anything related to u....i will just want to know
U didnt reply that sms, isn't it means we wont be friends anymore???
Never??? Actually i really cant control myself to ask him again through sms, we really not friends anymore??? This question keep disturing me whole day n night. But, i know i have to listen to Priscilla, i need to give him times. If he never reply me yet, which means he not ready yet to be friend with me. So, i need to give him another 2 weeks time. Although i really dont know can i control myself or not, but at least until this point i did control myself.

Primary school gathering

I look so ugly in all the pictures actually, kind of upset

The drink made the picture felt weird :(


The group picture :
I didnt even talk to everyone on that night. My mood actually wasn't that good on that night also. boz i miss someone on that night. When only i going to be happy move on with my life???


The drinks really kacau. But this picture quite nice on that night, just my face look ugly. Without him i really become damn ugly already :( how should i suppose to live happily without him inGal my life? HOW?


Gals group picture :) I am the most ugly person inside this picture :(
All the pictures just look not right..mayb is my own face problem.

Anyway, really thanks everyone came for this primary gathering.
Really long time didnt see them, i guess alr like 11 years. Wish everyone all the best :)

Time to update my blog :)

I guess he going to start updating his blog very soon
Now we thinking whether to blog or not..
of coz i hope he can blog everyday, then i definitely know his life story although i cant ask him anymore
How come i still miss someone alr dont miss me anymore???

Today saw a pair of husband n wife, they really lovely. I can know through their conversation although they look uneducated and not in good financial situation. The wife has some problem with the heart, so just did operation like last week and cant get any insurance protection anymore until she recover for the coming 5 years time. But how about this 5 years? They alr spent like 60,000 for the operation just did. How about the coming operation that may occur anytime? Although they have financial situation right now, but i was so touch after i heard her husband said this line ' If ur company can cover my wife, no matter how much i will still pay and will never miss any premium'. This is called LOVE. In my heart, i really wish i found this 'LOVE' now. My mind keep thinking and hoping the Love i found is HIM, but i guess not possible for now. WIsh for the best in the future :)
I wish i will able to protect their family by giving them financial advice, wish them all the best with their lovely baby boy together.

This few days i worked like shit, from afternoon to night just to fight for my target, but yesterday i didnt meet my target :( Today i dont know whether i consider meeting my target or not actually, boz i did meet enough people but some just fact finding without getting their contacts and names, since i am like tired of waiting them anymore and tired of chatting stuff with them without getting any sales from them. HAHA..Am i bad??? My legs were so tired when i chat while standing all the day. Please forgive me :)

My skin really getting worst and worst, due to not enough sleep?? not enough rest???not enough water?? not enough love?? or what??? I have to really take care well my skin boz i cant let HIM look down on me, i will prove to him : You will not better than me, you dont hav me beside u ....is ur lost.

I am so happy to have party this friday night and sat night :) Friday night with all the old primary school friends..Actually kind of weird feeling, boz i actually forget their name and face already. Saturday will be Desmond's house warming. Hope i enjoy taking pictures there and enjoy the time there. I must be more happy than HIM. Hopefully after the house warming can go to ZOUK for clubbing. Hope my friends will be hav the mood to go on saturday night :) With this full plans over this 2 days, i am going to play till the FULL...HAHA

Besides that, the coming monday will the outing day with my baby(carolyn) and carmen. Last time we used to go out with HIM also, but now he gone already. I MISS HIM. Mother asking me just now ' what happen to both of u?? No more together? did u rugi to him anything??' WHat i suppose to answer actuallY? i want to say....HE DID OWE ME...but...i cant say anything of coz. JUST keep my mouth shut, by saying 'NOTHING'. I miss his love towards me

The end, i hope he will update his blog then i will able to know more about him and understand him more and more on the coming time. I also hope i can hit my target everyday and GET my free TAIWAN TRIP to prove to him...I CAN DO IT

I am such a stupid fail person :(

I am just stupid became his gf..
I am really sorry to him...
After i read some of the past msn chat log..
I was totally HATE myself
I know i make him gone..
I miss him so much so much..
i found out that actually on that time we just broke up..he did miss me and asked me how was me...
This was the hint letting me know...but i spoil it..
I damn regret with what i had done
I miss him so much..i really cant live without u
When u going to miss me again???
i miss u very much really
i just cant live and move on without u..
after i read all the articles about ' how to get ur ex bf back', i know i should learn not to push him away, not to make him scared of me, not to hate me or dont like to see me anymore
i hope i didnt do anythg make him away from me
I just wan him back to my world
LAst time he alw wan me to go his house, now???
I wan to go but he dont wan anymore...why??? dont leave me alone dear
I everyday pretend to be happy pretend to dont love u anymore
i very suffer u kn, dear
will u ever just give me a chance to change???
i miss u...will u miss me too..
If i gone alr, will u still remember?
i know i cant cry infront of him cant sad infront of him cant be weak
I MUST be strong infront of him must be confident must be successful infront of him
let him know he left me was a wrong decision, so he will be back to me
he wil beg to wan me back asap
Anyway i really happy to see he reply my msn as usual, but i really hope he bought the coupon so that mayb i cant meet him someday..i miss him
GOD...u let me fall in love him, plss let me hav him back soon
THANKS GOD
i know GOD will protect me and give me whatever i wish to have right NOW
i wish u all the best and be right back to me asap
i will wait for u, dear

Trying to out with others but think of U

Yesterday i went out for movie with a guy to pass my time, but the end i ended up thinking of u the whole day
Went to A&W for lunch - this remind me of us been there like most of our time when we were shopping at OneU
Went to Shopping - most of the shop i went with u all the time, so the end i didnt wan to shop boz mood just bad on that time :(
Went to cinema - reminded me how we started to be close. U drank my drink on the first time we went for movie and that time i really dont kn y u will drink mine. Of coz the end, i did ask u and u told me the reason :) how wish it will happen again between u n me
When i talked with him, i think of what we did talk before when we shop around oneU and most of the time on yesterday my mind was blank. The end, i dont really remember what the guy had said to me :(

Just want to know how r u recently??
I know i cant talk to u this 2 months :(
This 2 months really hard to past ....
Will u ever hav a second to miss me a day??? I MISS u everyday when i worked up
Today i dreamt about u like 2 times because today is holiday so can sleep longer
After the day u were gone, my alr like dreamt about u more than 10 times or 15 times i guess
When will be the day i will forget u and u remember me in ur heart deeply???

why everything is not fine???

WHAT happen to me???
HOw come still miss him..
He is the one who hurt me deep
He is the one who don't care me
But, i still care him so much...i know he rushing assignment n also lose in his business plan
I sad for him..want to tell him dont give up..wan to tell him i still beside him support him
But, all this will only in my heart
DONT GIVE UP DEAR.. I WILL ALW BE UR SIDE :)

WHAT happen to all the uncle???
Dont care about their protection one?
I want to help , but u all dont let...
WHAT can i do???
If anythg happen...i dont care

Wish all the good things will be coming to me NOW and FOREVER