I am such a stupid fail person :(

I am just stupid became his gf..
I am really sorry to him...
After i read some of the past msn chat log..
I was totally HATE myself
I know i make him gone..
I miss him so much so much..
i found out that actually on that time we just broke up..he did miss me and asked me how was me...
This was the hint letting me know...but i spoil it..
I damn regret with what i had done
I miss him so much..i really cant live without u
When u going to miss me again???
i miss u very much really
i just cant live and move on without u..
after i read all the articles about ' how to get ur ex bf back', i know i should learn not to push him away, not to make him scared of me, not to hate me or dont like to see me anymore
i hope i didnt do anythg make him away from me
I just wan him back to my world
LAst time he alw wan me to go his house, now???
I wan to go but he dont wan anymore...why??? dont leave me alone dear
I everyday pretend to be happy pretend to dont love u anymore
i very suffer u kn, dear
will u ever just give me a chance to change???
i miss u...will u miss me too..
If i gone alr, will u still remember?
i know i cant cry infront of him cant sad infront of him cant be weak
I MUST be strong infront of him must be confident must be successful infront of him
let him know he left me was a wrong decision, so he will be back to me
he wil beg to wan me back asap
Anyway i really happy to see he reply my msn as usual, but i really hope he bought the coupon so that mayb i cant meet him someday..i miss him
GOD...u let me fall in love him, plss let me hav him back soon
THANKS GOD
i know GOD will protect me and give me whatever i wish to have right NOW
i wish u all the best and be right back to me asap
i will wait for u, dear