Actually i learnt alot this 2 days in this program
At first, i didnt want to go to this program boz i dont even know the purpose, but of coz the end i just go since i also nothing important to do for this sat n sun
Really thanks alot to helpers there, my leader , group learder and group's members
THanks alot people...
We all went there for a same PURPOSE "TO LEARN" or can called it as 'TO IMPROVE OURSELVES'
I am the exception of coz, boz i dont even know the full details about this whole course
I will share whatever i felt there in my blog,
actually yesterday i reached home at 1 sth and i slept at 2 sth am, but i dont hav the TIRED feeling at all on that moment ..--------U KNOW WHY???
because i finally realized something on that night and this will really helpful when i go along my life
The most memorable or i should say the part of this course that i really IN the condition will be the part when they were playing songs in the dark environment
I found out that actually i will easily touch by songs
I alw try very hard to understand the lyrics of the songs n some imagine will come out from my mind ( This will the way to kill me and make me feel like shir when i go inside the songs)
So, i will share the 4 songs that they played to us and how i felt on that moment
(actually yesterday i alr cant wait to write whatever i felt on that moment, but it was really late and the next day i need to woke up at 6.30am---the end, i didnt blog it first)
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First : The song about the mother {This world only mother is the best}
( sorry to say that i dont kn how to type out the name of the songs in chinese)
When the song played for the first time,
the lyrics really touch my feeling and my tears out immediately without any intention of acting or what
The meaning of the lyrics about this "children who have mother really 'xin fu', but children who dont have mother with them, the children will be like a grass'
My mind :
If i dont hav mother with me, i cant imagine how can i live. I didnt realised that i actually really very 'xin fu' boz my mother alw try her best to give me the things that i want. Then, this incident out on my mind. My mother know i unhappy for this few months, on my birthday she wrote me a paper and wish me happy birthday. Besides that, she gave the 'ang ku' that i like to eat with the paper. This really never happen before, and i really felt the LOVE from mother. She know i heart broken with someone and she really dont hope i will be unhappy sad during my birthday.THANks alot mother. I LOVE U. My skin now actually alegry and waiting for time to recover and i can felt my mum like so care of me boz she will keep asking me 'do u wan to drink this or not? i buy for u. Boz last time i used to drink that evrymorning but now stopped already since my mum didnt buy it, but boz of me she start to buying it again FOR ME. Really thanks alot to my mother.
Not only i want to tell my mother i love her, but also i want to say sorry boz i bluff her so many times when i was in love with HIM. Actually mother told me alot of times ' dont simply trust people, dont simply 'sit tai' to others ya, dont do all the bad things ya', but i dont really listen to it. SORRY mother. Besides that, i bluff her that i went my friend's house and sleep or play, but actually i went to his house and sleep. I regret that i alw said i will be back later later later when she called me, but actually i still with him outside enjoying or at his house relaxing. I saw my mum slept at my bro's room when i finished some of my parties with him and i will woke her up when i went inside to use the toilet. ( I know she purposely sleep there, boz she want to know what time i am back). But, after that, i will go with him to his house without my mum's permission ( sometimes i hav permission with valid reason, sometime i hav permission with fake reason and sometimes just without any permission). SORRY to my mother. This one cant blame HIM also, i know he missed me that time, i also missed him so much and loved him so much, so i put him so important until i forget my own mother. As a daughter, i felt sorry that i didnt all this things to hurt my mother so deep.I really hope i will never do all this things to hurt my mother anymore. At lot more i felt for my mother, so my tears kept coming out on that moment and non stop....i onl wan to tell myself ' i will never leave my mother alone..i wan to be with her forever'. I felt sorry to mother about my graduation day. I really thought she dont wan to come on that day, so we lack of communication on that time. Boz my whole heart n mind only thinking of HIM. Before the graduation night i argued with him n i was really very hurt n sad boz he cant come to my graduation boz i waited his sms for the whole long time after we argued before his exam. He said he wan to cool down n will talk to me after the exam. I really wait wait wait wait....with the hope he will talk nicely to me n will come to my graduation. But very sadly he told me he 'cant'. After that, my heart really broken n cant even talk to anyone anymore, so i didnt communicate with my parent at all and my mother thought he will go there n support me--boz my mother really trust him he will take care me, but the end,,,he broke my heart deeply.I still cant forget the sad feeling on my graduation day. i pretend to be happy until very tired..i really tired already. At frist i really dont wan to go for the graduation anymore since my heart also not there alr, but i dont wan to let my friends worry me or my mother worry me, so i need to pretend to be happy there and went there with my soul not there. I can pretend to be happy also boz of the call on the morning i received from my mother. she called n asked me ' r u ok or not? everythg ok already???' and i just answered ' ok...i am fine one' boz i simply answer her only. I really sorry to her...boz i didnt ans with my heart when she so concern me T.T I am really sorry also when i start thinking i treated him better than my own mother actually. On his birthday i bought him whatever he need with whatever price, but i didnt even try to thking what my mum needs when her birthday. I never send her a gift with my really true heart, but i sent to HIM. I really regret i treat other ppl that dont care me better than ppl who care me so much . When i thk of this my tears will just come out always. I really know i am bad daughter, i dont even really remember my mother's birthday but i remember his birthday deep in my heart. WHAT IS THIS...such a stupid daughter.
In this song, i not only want to appreciate my mother but also his mother. Actually i really can feel his mother's LOVE to him and also to me. When i at his house, the mother will alw ask whether i eat or not. Besides that, when late alr, then i still there, the mother will ask me frive carefully or better dont drive home because dangerous. She also alw told me about all the snatch thefts incidents in the newspaper to remind me to becareful. I actually aslo quite LOVE his mother in term of all this. Although sometime i abit not happy boz she alw last minute called the son to do her stuff, when the son alr promised me to do my stuff earlier first. OF coz i abit not happy, but i really didnt angry her or him at all. Boz i understand his mother really important to him, n mother really everythg. I really sorry to her boz last time i didnt unhappy boz of that. if got chance i really hope to be friend with her as a close friend. I really know when i with her son, she really treated me as her own daughter too..I really wan to say sorry to her for whatever i did bad at HK or the past to her. SORRY AUNTIE..I really appreciate her love to me also. If she dont mind i also wish to be her kai daughter.and then i will repay back her with my love boz i guess last time i didnt really show the love to her...Thanks ya
will be continuted by tomorrow....:)
Boz really tired already
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